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I just saw a video that pales the message that I am attempting to share. The video is one of the late Dr. Randy Pausch. There are songs that give similar messages but not with the profound effect that this video has. For those of you who have not heard it, the title is The Last Lecture.
The premise came from Carnegie Mellon. The idea was to invite a professor to speak to students and faculty as if it were the last lecture that he or she would give. Each year, the invited professor spoke about his or her reflections on life, kind of like the country song by Tim McGraw Live Life Like You Are Dying.
The message that Dr. Randy Pausch gave was infinitely more poignant because he had only been given a few months to live and it was indeed, his last lecture. The part of the lecture and his book that really hit me hard was the part about apologies. He states that, “A bad apology is worse than no apology.”
How many times have we heard, “I’m sorry but you …” or “I’m sorry that you misunderstood…” or “I’m sorry that you don’t like…” And even worse, a flip “Sorry.” Too often, people offer an insincere apology just to calm the waters in a storm of an argument. I am acutely aware of how often some people just say they are sorry just to get back on the proverbial good side of the offended party.
Randy Pausch had a theory that was not a totally new one but he said it in a very simple context. He said that there are three parts to a sincere apology.
- What I did was wrong.
- I feel badly that I hurt you.
- How do I make this better?
Eight hundred years prior to Randy Pausch’s book, Moses Maimonides presented the idea that the barometer of a person who is truly apologetic is one who, when faced with a similar situation does not repeat his or her previous behavior that had caused hurt.
The YouTube link for his lecture is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9ya9BXClRw Please take time to watch it. It will, in my opinion, put your life in perspective. It sure did mine.
After watching this video, I would ask you to think about these questions:
What is the most important thing in life? Could things in my life be worse or better? How can I live with more purpose? How can I live more in the moment appreciating all that I have without placing focus on what I don’t have? How can I make a difference in this world? How would I live if today were my last day?
