When women ask me how they should prepare for divorce, I begin by suggesting that they read about divorce laws in their states.
At some point, I often suggest that they research reputable sites such as Psychology Today so that they might better understand the possible reasons for the actions of their ex-husbands or soon to be ex-husbands, their own actions, and their children’s actions.
Think about the possibilities. It must be said that reading is not the same as going through therapy with a licensed psychologist. However, it can be very helpful IF you keep an open mind when it comes to the role you play in the family dynamics. In addition, you may gain some invaluable insight regarding the behavior of others.
As an example, you may be dealing with a narcissist. I can’t tell you how many of my clients have come to the understanding that their ex-husbands or soon to be ex-husbands just might be narcissists. These women often have experienced emotional abuse or financial abuse and sometimes even physical abuse. The abuse seemed to tip-toe into their marriages without their knowledge.
The descriptions that I often hear are the following:
- He is egotistical.
- He shows no empathy.
- He is self centered.
- He is manipulative.
- He is demanding.
- He is aggressive.
Hand in hand with the above characteristics come impulsive actions such as extramarital affairs or financial risks.
How about you? Does any of this sound familiar?
Photo: Roland
