I am Divorced. Now What?

That’s a loaded question and I hear it a lot. It seems like more and more, my new clients have come to me in the middle or toward the end of their divorce processes. Many or probably most of them are extremely vulnerable. It’s hard to believe but sometimes, life can be more difficult when the finality of divorce sets in.

So… if this pertains to you, it’s important to understand that you are no longer caught up in the day to day tasks that took up so much time leading up to your divorce. You no longer have to research and deal with documents. You no longer need to research information regarding assets.

You have finally come to the conclusion that you are alone. Everything is up to you now. The tears continue to fall and you continue to beat yourself up for being weak. You have been going through the divorce process for what seems like forever. Why can’t you come to grips with the fact that you are divorced?

The answer to all of this is pretty simple even though getting past it is not simple. You see, what you are experiencing is grief. You must realize that divorce is an ending, not unlike a death.

There are five stages of grief and you must understand them and live through them. Only then will you be ready to start your new life.

Five Stages of Grief

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

When you have lived through these stages, you will begin to see your future on the horizon. So give yourself a break and please don’t allow well-meaning friends to make you think that your time is up and you should be emotionally ready to move on with your life. You are the only one who knows when you will be ready.

Trust me. I have been there.

First Photo: juliejordanscott

Second Photo: gogoloopie