Fourth of July and Custody

Who has the kids? If you are newly divorced or if the time has just flown by since you were divorced, you may not be sure.  If you and your ex-husband are adult enough to communicate and be civil, the decision may be simple. If either of you tend to act on the juvenile side of things, the only way to simplify the issue is to plan according to the custody mandate of the court.

For our family, Fourth of July was always very special. It began with a pool party and barbeque followed by more swimming. When darkness approached, out came the sparklers and shortly there after, we trooped to the town park to spread our blankets and wait until the fireworks began.

As youngsters, the children had a ball with the whole process. As years passed and teenage years came into the scenario, they still had a ball but only if they could distance themselves a bit from the oldies. The memories were special and I tend to relive them with each passing year.

So back to topic, if you aren’t sure about how things will play out, read your custody documentation. Often times, spouses are willing to lose something in order to gain a special holiday with the kids. Whether or not this is true for you, make sure that you are aware.

Whoever has the order of compliance for the Fourth of July is the parent who gets the children on that day. If you are not the one, remember that there is always next year. Whatever you do, don’t play the victim if the kids are going to be with your ex-spouse.  The same holds true of you have the kids, don’t play the victim or badmouth your ex when it comes to custody issues or anything else.

Remember that you are creating memories for your children. Keep yourself above the pettiness and innuendo. You won’t be sorry.