Did you know that experiencing a divorce is like experiencing the death of a loved one? Sometimes, divorce can be even more painful and therefore the person experiencing the divorce must realize that there is a grieving period that must be addressed. Everyone is different and everyone deals with grief differently.
Please don’t fall victim to the friends or family who say things like.
Just put it out of your mind.
When I got divorced, I handled it this way!
Why are you so sad? You are better off. You should be happy!
Good riddance to bad rubbish! It’s time to party!
Why are you so sad? Didn’t you see this coming?
They probably mean well but they are not helping you with comments like this.
I remember when I lost a dear friend to a rare disease. I spent the days after her death going through every photo album I had. I needed to see her smile over and over again. One of our friends stopped by and saw my tear streaked face. Her eyes were swollen too and I knew how upset she was. When she asked me if I wanted to go the mall shopping with her, I would have flipped out if previously I hadn’t learned that she always went shopping when she was sad.
So, case in point, everyone handles grief differently and that is just the way it is. So don’t beat yourself up if you handle yours differently from others.
You may experience different feelings at different times. You might go into denial. You might feel angry. You will feel sad. You might go into a depression. You might feel guilty or afraid. Often the emotional feelings that you have take their toll on your physical well being.
Sometimes the grieving process can include symptoms like the flu. You might lose or gain weight. You might have a hard time sleeping or you might sleep more than usual. You may lose your usual energy.
Remember that some people can get over a divorce in a few months. For some it might take a few years or many years.
Whatever category you or your friends fall into, remember that the process will always be different in duration, level of emotion and physical issues and that is just the way it is so accept it!
Photo by Monochrome
