Thinking or speaking in black and white terms, is irrational. I don’t pretend to be a psychologist, or even close. However, I have learned that people, who speak in absolutes, are often egocentric, frightening and illogical.
So many of you stay at home moms, who are involved in problematic marriages, tell me that your spouses speak in terms of lack and white. Apparently, much of the adversity in some marriages is because one partner is blamed for always being wrong. The problems are all his or her fault. The spouse is never wrong.
I caused all of the problems in the relationship. The word rational is derived from the word ratio which means “a fraction.” Therefore, as night follows day, it must be that, fractional words are used by rational thinkers. If a stay at home mom says that, Sometimes, he is unkind,I give credence to the story. If I hear that, He seldom helps with the children,it sounds plausible. I am more of a believer, if I hear that, Usually, he comes home late.
The bottom line is that there may well be a breakdown of any relationship, where the presence of black and white thinking, exists. However, it doesn’t matter one iota, what I believe or don’t believe! What matters is that, in order to have a solid marriage and or relationship, gray areas must exist. By definition, rational thoughts must include exceptions “to the rule.” If two people desire to have rational communication, open mindedness and a healthy marriage, a thought process, which includes exceptions must be present.
