Marriage and Divorce

The day that changed my life happened like this:

I was in the car, in a traffic jam. My cell phone rang and it was a friend who had one of my horses. (I had spoken to her the day before and she had advised me that she had found the perfect buyer for Molly. The people absolutely loved her and Molly got along well with the new rider. They were going to have her vetted the next day and take her home with them. I was thrilled.)

So back to the call I was telling you about. My friend sounded upset and said that Molly was having a bad colic. To you non-horse people, colic can kill a horse and all too often does. She said that Molly was in her trailer and that she was taking her to a large animal veterinary clinic.

Stunned and feeling sick, I hung up. A minute or two later, the phone rang again. It was the veterinary clinic, calling and asking for my credit card number because they needed a three thousand dollar deposit in case they had to do surgery on Molly. I was heartbroken and couldn’t stop the tears. I grabbed for my asthma inhaler along with my credit card.

I don’t even remember the next few minutes. Then the phone rang again. This time it was my husband calling to tell me he was filing for divorce. Then the line went dead. I found myself thinking that this must be a dream…or more accurate, a nightmare.

Then the phone rang again and it was the veterinary clinic saying that Molly hadn’t made it. They had to put her down because the colic was so bad.

I pulled over to the side of the road and began my pity party and cried my eyes out. I have no idea how long I was parked there.

At some point, I called another friend and told her what had happened. She suggested that I see an attorney right away. She said I’ll call you right back. A minute or two later, she gave me the name and address of an attorney that she believed would be perfect for me – little did she know!

The phone rang again and she gave me directions to his office and said he was waiting for me and would see me right away.

Numb, I drove to his office. I walked into his office with my tear streaked and swollen face. I gave him the few facts that I knew. I then said, “I just want to be fair.” He said, “Don’t ever use that word again. It has no place in this office or in court.”

I didn’t understand what he meant because being fair had always been how I lived my life. I thought to myself, “Claudia, nothing makes any sense to you today, just let it go.” It was as if I had been sedated.

Then he asked me my religion. I didn’t know what that had to do with anything and still feeling like I had the wind knocked out of me, I said, “Catholic.”

He said, “Oh, now I understand. You Catholic girls are the worst kind because you forgive too easily.”

That was a new one on me but again, I decided to let it go. I knew I was in a daze and wasn’t thinking clearly. I vaguely remember walking out of his office and getting into my car.

Hindsight is 20-20 and at the time I had no idea that he saw me as vulnerable and an easy mark, like many divorce attorneys. This is exactly why I want to help you from being taken advantage of when you find yourself experiencing the divorce process.

That was almost nine years ago.  That was the day that I realized that Marriage and Divorce applied to me!

Photo by Joannablu “gone for now”