In divorce cases, child support payments are often part of the divorce decree. Depending on the state where you reside, there are guidelines that are usually followed. The court will decide an appropriate number that one parent, usually the non custodial parent will pay the custodial parent to assist in the cost of raising the child or children.
Too often, discord between ex spouses will take on the form of divulging the amount of child support paid – to the child involved – in order to erode the relationship the child has with the custodial parent.
Ultimately, it is the child that is hurt by being told of a specific dollar amount when the parents divorce.
This is a scenario I hear over and over again from moms who are going through a divorce:
Billy goes to see Daddy for the week end and comes home to Mommy and says something like, “I want a new Wii. Daddy says he gives you $800.00 per month for me. He says that you are using his money to buy new clothes for yourself. I want the Wii. You have to buy it for me. Daddy said it’s my money.”
The part that children don’t understand is that the dollar amount of child support is usually dependent on a formula that is calculated by adding up numbers like rent or mortgage, utilities, car payments, insurances, food and the like and then that total is divided by the number of people living under the same roof. That number would be the financial need of one child.
To that number would be added any special financial needs of the child.
The income of the custodial parent as well as the non custodial parent are taken into account in most child support cases.
So Billy doesn’t understand the fact that the support money that is paid to Mommy is not a cash dollar amount that can be spent for toys and the like.
Parents, please stop involving your children in your battles. The war wounds inflicted on them can last a lifetime.
Photo by HTloveHL
