I want to share a very sad email that I received recently. The good news is that we have had a few coaching sessions and “Sandra” is in a slightly better place now.
Claudia I need your help. i don’t know what to do or where to go or who to get help from. My husband cheated on me during our 16 year 4 month 2 week and 4 day marriage 12 times that I know of probably a lot more.
He left with a girl 16 years younger than me 6 months 1 week and 3 days ago with that — Both of them are telling our kids lies about me. I thought they didn’t believe them because they saw what really happened but it’s not true and Im wrong. My 3 kids hate me. They don’t want to live with me or see me. They are 12, 14 and 8. When we go to court and my lawyer says I should get custody unless the kids say reasons that I’m a bad mother. He wants the kids to go to court and I don’t want them to. I didnt do anything wrong.
He threatened me when he left and said he’d ruin me and not pay me child support because it’s cheeper to have them live with him then pay me child support.Why do they believe him and her and they barely know her? They take the kids places and buy things like Wi and i can’t. They don’t ever get in trouble. I hate them and araid i’ll lose my kids. Help me. “Sandra”
If any of you are in similar situations, please understand a few things:
- Kids tend to gravitate toward the parent they are most afraid of losing.
- Kids are inherently selfish and they want what they want when they want it. If one parent has more money to give them what they want, that parent wins temporarily.
- When kids are used as pawns, they are being emotionally hurt. Even if the kids don’t show any issues right away, they are not unscathed by the process.
- When parental alienation occurs, the damage to the kids and their relationships with the parent being alienated lasts for years.
