Good marriage counselors can be a solution to helping marriages get back on level ground. Poor marriage counselors can actually hurt any progress that couples might make in their efforts to mend their marriages. There are times when a poor marriage counselor will actually expedite divorce.
When a marriage is volatile, some marriage counselors prefer to have two counselors for the sessions. Their reasoning is in essence, to play “good cop and bad cop.” One is geared to be a support to one spouse and the other is to support the other spouse. There are times when this can be beneficial, especially in the beginning of the process.
There are three areas where a good counselor can help a couple get their marriage on better footing.
- One or both of the spouses are sabotaging any hope of mending their marriage because of uncontrolled emotions. Hurt feelings, depression, anger and even paranoia can and does destroy marriages. A good counselor can see the root of of the problem and can offer some damage control.
- When one or both spouses become discouraged, it is difficult to keep motivated to improve the marriage. A good marriage counselor can offer encouragement when things seem to have hit rock bottom. Negativity breeds negativity. When a marriage counselor can help the couple to see the positive, he or she is doing the job!
- Couples must figure out ways that they can find solutions for their issues. If a counselor is good, he or she can be creative in devising strategies to help couples to mend their marriages.
The one thing that I must say in closing is that you must keep your eyes and ears open to seeing red flags with any marriage counselor. The yellow pages aren’t the place to look for one. Do your research and Google them to find out about their education and reputation. If something feels strange, it probably is. If this happens don’t be afraid to look into changing to a new counselor.
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