Divorce: From the Horse’s Mouth

I have been asked to share this email with you.

Dear Claudia,

I read this site a long time. My problem is I saw it when it was already too late. I already blew it. I was a stay at home mom and I didn’t find this site until too late for me. What you said yesterday made me sick it’s what happened to me.  I wanted to right this to tell  women they should listen.

My story is I was married 28 years and had 5 children with my husband. He was playing around I think 2 years after our last child. Maybe longer. H’s now 18 so that makes it 16 years ago. I found out 10 years ago and it killed. He promised he’d stop it and I thought he did. I found out  2 years later he didn’t. I threatened to divorce him. He begged me not to. He said sorry and he could feal my pain. We went to marriage counciling and I thought we were getting our marriage better.

Then he filed for divorce a year later and I got  depressed and drank a lot and it felt like divorce was going on forever. I didn’t want it to end. My lawyer told me it would be good to drag it on so  I could keep my house and the kids in school.  She told me not to get a job if I did it would hurt me in divorce court. I wanted to work to save money for when I needed it after divorce but she kept saying not to.  I did what she said  because I thought she said the truth of law.  We went to divorce court because my lawyer told me I’d  get more money. I wanted more money because I didn’t do anything.

Divorce was over 4 years ago and I’m more scared then I was.  I lost the house. I payed  $72,000.00 for my lawyer. I can’t find a job where I live.  I haven’t spend money anything but anyway I spent all of my settlement including my part of retirement and my part of equity in the house.  I didn’t know that you could borrow against it I took it out little at a time to live and now it’s finished. I didn’t do my taxes for 2009 yet or 2010. I don’t have health insurance anymore and I can’t get my prescriptions I only have $783.00 left in my bank account. I don’t have anyone I can borrow money from. I’m trying to think positive but I’m scared. The hardest is my husband married the girl he cheating with and they have money and they get to go on vacations. My kids don’t know what’s going on because I don’t want them to. They’l  find out soon unless somehing happens. When they said the world was going to end all I could think was that if it happened I wouldn’t be so scared about not haveing enough money for bills  and I wouldn’t get homeless if I was in heaven.

Claudia, please  show my email with your readers if the’re like me, they don’t think it can happen to them. It’s not fair.  I never cheated was always good wife and mother and now I’m going to be 57 in 23 days and where am I? What’s going to happen to me? Please keep tellin the truth about what happens in divorce.

Candice

Photo: McD22