Divorce and He loves me. He loves me not.

A few of you thought I was trying to be funny with my post yesterday. Actually, I was very serious. Well maybe the “splits going to hit the fan” was meant to bring a smile.

Here’s the thing. A lot of women begin the divorce process hoping that everything will be amicable. Too many become very disheartened when that is not the road that is taken on the way to divorce.

There will always be exceptions to the rule but usually, as I said in that post, a marriage that is filled with drama will mean a divorce process filled with drama.

The divorce process is easier to deal with when you know what to expect.

• If your husband was a bad father during your marriage, he will be a bad father after divorce, although his approach may change.
• If your husband made you pay for mistakes during your marriage, he will make you pay during and after the divorce process.
• If your husband was controlling during your marriage, he will attempt to be controlling through the divorce process. (This can begin at the start of separation by cutting off the money.)
• If your husband wasn’t supportive of your efforts during your marriage, he will not be supportive afterward.
• If your husband didn’t co-parent with you during your marriage, he will not co-parent afterward.
• If your husband was vindictive, he will be vindictive afterward.
• If he blamed you for everything during your marriage, he will continue to blame you afterward.

So, just don’t expect more from him than he is able to give. I’m certainly not suggesting that you make excuses for his actions. I’m suggesting that you go through the process with your eyes open. As I have said so often, Prepare for the worst but hope for the best. That way there won’t be any surprises.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Photo: Christiano Betta