Did you know that dating during the divorce process might do a lot of damage to you and your children? Depending on the state where you live, dating could even hurt your chances of gaining custody of your children.

Here are few reasons as to why. Each state has certain standards that apply, regarding the awarding of child custody. These factors include but are not limited to, such things as, the mental and physical health of the parents, the need for continued stable environment for the child, the age and sex of the child, evidence of parental drug, alcohol or sexual abuse, or religion or cultural matters that pertain to the child,

Which one of the potential custodial parents would offer more of an opportunity for interaction with extended family, which custodial parent would potentially give the most help to the child, for the best adjustment to school, which would offer the best relationship with other members of household, what are the wishes of the child, is one of the parents one who uses excessive discipline or emotional abuse?

It may sound trivial, but courts also consider the parent who bathes, plans and prepares meals, teaches reading and writing skills, helps with extracurricular activities, health care, etc. In all states, there are pertinent points that have relevance. When the Court decides who is to have custody, visitation, etc. certain criteria are very important. Even the fact that a potential custodial parent might give off second hand smoke, could be factored in.

In today’s time, the fact that fathers, who are a large part of their children’s lives, will compete with a mother, for custody. This is in contrast to years past, where mothers were considered to be the primary caregivers. Today, because many fathers are so strong in their roles, courts do not necessarily favor mothers as the primary caregivers.

Contrary to popular belief, the importance of a child’s opinion, as to which parent, he or she wishes to live with, is not dependent on that child’s age. If the child is mature enough to put his or her feelings into words, that is what is important. Interviews are often done with children above 7 years old. Unless both parents are unable, unwilling or incapable, the custody will go to one parent or the other. It will not be given to a grandparent, or an aunt or uncle.

In addition, the court often takes into account the beliefs that a custodial parent should be the one who will more effectively encourage, permit and allow frequent visits with the other parent. The courts also take into account the fact that, a parent has either been convicted of, pleaded guilty or pleaded no contest to one of many offences related to kidnapping, assault, incest, rape, endangering children, prostitution. The courts will award sole custody when it is in the best interest of the child for any of the above reasons.