Blended families are more the norm than ever with 65% of all marriages and remarriages having children by previous relationships. The process of blending families is a difficult. In most cases, blended families are nothing like the Brady Bunch.
Before you jump into a blended family, take some time and plan. Give the kids time to regroup literally. The statistics show that for a blended family to have success, there must be a waiting period of 2 or more years before the new marriage takes place.
Parents must understand that there is a challenge that they will face with their step children. Good parent-step child relationships will take time to establish. They won’t and can’t happen overnight. The spouse’s kids may not welcome the step parent as much as the parent might hope.
Both parents must face certain facts
- Step children often feel neglected, abandoned because of the previous divorce.
- Kids worry about how the other step kids in the family will act and react.
- The step parent will not feel the same way about step kids that he or she does about his or her own kids.
- Children do not do well with change.
- Parents will not love their step kids immediately.
To make a blended family work, communication must remain open. Parents must keep a positive attitude, respect and patience. That way the love will begin to grow. Try to help the kids to really get to know the new parent.
Understand that you may offer time and energy to the new kids and understand that they won’t give affections immediately. Compassion is of utmost importance. Children must feel safe and secure, appreciated and encouraged.
Photo: hoyasmeg
