Divorce and Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day can be so difficult for women going through divorce and after the divorce is actually over. As has been the case every year since I began this blog, the emails poured in on Mother’s Day and the days following.

Because of the stories I heard in the last few days, I would like to quote a portion of my post from Mother’s Day, 2009.

We worried about our children and their safely. We were tormented when we didn’t know where they were or with whom…We gave consequences in an effort to help them learn that there would always be consequences for their actions later in life…We quietly supported them in ways that we never shared with them…We thought about nothing except our children and doing right for them.

Too often our passionate devotion to motherhood had a consequence of its own. That consequence was born as a result of our neglecting preparations for our own futures. We prepared our children for adulthood but we didn’t prepare ourselves for what was to come. After all, there just wasn’t time between carpools, the flu, chicken pox, homework, school plays, birthdays, and the like. At least, that is what we thought at the time because we knew only too well that we were so very busy. We certainly weren’t thinking about the possibility of divorce.

So back to the subject of this post, most of the mom’s who connected with me couldn’t spend Mother’s Day with their children. Some of the reasons were unavoidable and some were due to parental alienation. Any mother who has suffered from parental alienation understands the depth of the pain.

I will tell you that time really does heal the wounds and that if you will be patient, children do figure out things. For some reason, this past Mother’s Day, I thought about the words from a nursery rhyme.

Little Bo-Peep has lost her sheep,

And doesn’t know where to find them.

Leave them alone, And they will come home,

Wagging their tails behind them.

Please, don’t stoop to the tactics that your ex used to destroy your relationship with your children. It will only hurt them. Remember that children love both of their parents. Be patient and loving and eventually your efforts will be rewarded with renewed and stronger relationships with your children.

Photo: Stinkie Pinkie