Mother – What Makes a Good One?

Whether you are a young mother, an older mother, an adoptive mother, a stay at home mother, a working mother, a single mother, a married mother or any kind of mother… this is for you.

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.

~ Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Mother – Some Mother “Musts”

• Must be physically, emotionally and mentally equipped to be sleep deprived for years at a time.
• Must not get angry when someone asks if you work.
• Must acknowledge that your children are always with you even when they leave you.
• Must understand that your babies will grow into adults.
• Must understand that it’s not about giving birth. It’s about giving.
• Must be willing to be unpopular.
• Must listen to what your kids say and what they don’t say.
• Must remember funny stories and keep them to yourself.
• Must be a psychologist, taxi driver, cook, mediator, adolescent and teenage interpreter, referee, housekeeper, teacher, doctor, seamstress, driving teacher, and tutor.
• Must know what “I didn’t take it but don’t look under my bed” means.
• Must understand that morning sickness, sleepless nights and giving birth pale in comparison to puberty.
• Must love specially made meals even barely cooked cold eggs.
• Must keep your eyes on your own child even when someone else’s hits the home run.
• Must listen without reacting to teachers who tell you that your child isn’t perfect.
• Must be grateful for compliments like, “Your wrinkles make you pretty.”
• Must not assume that your teen is being good.
• Must be willing to forgive the unforgivable.
• Must understand that the length of time to deliver might pertain to driving a car pool.
• Must give up all personal needs for at least the first five years of a child’s life.
• Must take every opportunity to teach even when it is easier not to.
• Must continue to give when nobody notices.
• Must have a passion for all homemade gifts even if you are allergic to them.
• Must be willing to attend and actually enjoy sporting events beginning with T-Ball.
• Must accept the fact that guilt will always be part of your life.
• Must be willing to change judgment into compassion.
• Must understand the value of white clothing.
• Must be excited to sit through long assemblies and school plays even if your child plays a tree.
• Must be able to watch each child through special moments while taking perfect pictures and videos.
• Must be self sufficient and self-motivated.
• Must not require positive reinforcement.
• Must not reward bad behavior.
• Must have the ability to be at least two places at one time.
• Must have the ability to do at least three things at once.
• Must understand that workdays are never ending.
• Must be willing to take the blame for things that go wrong.
• Must be able to act like you aren’t hungry so that your children can split your piece of cake.
• Must be able to go out in public with spittle or worse on your shirt.
• Must be willing to listen more than talk.
• Must try to be understanding even when you don’t get it.
• Must always hope even when down deep you don’t feel like hoping.
• Must not laugh in spite of your dying inside with laughter.
• Must be able to think, “This too shall pass” but not say it.
• Must understand that bath time doesn’t necessarily mean that anything is cleaner.
• Must not look down on other mothers when they make mistakes.
• Must not utter words that you don’t want your children to say.
• Must not be sleepy when it is time to read a bedtime story.
• Must understand that it is the best and most difficult job you will ever have.
• Must see the successes of your children as your own success.

First Photo: David J. Laporte

Second Photo: Riza Nugraha