If you are in the middle of a marriage on the way to divorce, please try to keep your children from being casualties. It isn’t their fault. A failing marriage is between the two of you.
Sure, everyone makes mistakes in the raising of children. When spouses are involved in a volatile relationship, it’s easy to overlook what is happening to the children.
Have you ever had a scene like this in your home? If you have, it’s time to fix your actions for the sake of your children. Don’t put them in the middle of your issues and above all, don’t ignore their pleas for attention.
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MOM: “We need to talk.”
DAD: “Will you stop nagging at me? I’m trying to watch the game.“
MOM: “Please, we have to talk.”
DAD: “Yak, yak, that’s all you ever do.”
MOM: “Please, we need to talk about some things.”
DAD: “Yeah, yeah, just shut up for a change.”
MOM: “Sandy, leave the room. Your dad I need to talk privately.”
DAD: “She doesn’t need to leave. She knows what is going on. She hears us fight all the time. Just shut up for a change.”
CHILD: “Dad…Mom…stop fighting please. Dad…Mom…I got in trouble today at school. Dad…Mom…”
DAD: “So what else is new?”
MOM: “You are in the way. We are busy. Just leave the room.”
CHILD: What do you mean by what else is new?”
DAD: “You are lazy and stupid just like your mother. I’m out of here. I’m sick of both of you. I want a divorce so I can have some peace.”
MOM: “Go ahead, move out. We’ll be just fine without you.”
CHILD: “Mom and Dad…Did you hear what I said? I got in trouble today at school? Dad please don’t leave. I’m sorry. Mom, don’t let him leave. I’m sorry. It’s all my fault…Please don’t get divorced. I’m sorry…please. I’ll be better, I promise. Mom…Dad…Did you hear me? I’m sorry. Please.”
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I can’t tell you enough that both of you have made and are making mistakes regarding your marriage and divorce. Please learn from them, and keep your children out of the issues between you.
Photo by Laura the artist
