The Walking Wounded

Whatever your religion is, you need to understand that forgiveness plays a role in the after divorce healing process.

The facts actually prove that people find peace when they forgive the wrong doer. In the case of divorce, the wrong doer is the ex spouse and maybe even the ex spouse’s attorney. (Maybe even their own attorney but we’ll leave that subject for another post.)

The important thing to remember when you go through a divorce is that sure it is painful and frightening BUT there are far worse things that could happen in your life.

When the divorce papers arrive, it’s time to get on with your life. That doesn’t mean that you must terminate the grieving process. It means that you must go through all of the steps in the process in order to heal.

You can and should go through feeling angry. You can even blame and then get depressed. If you need to cry, then cry. Cry a lot but give yourself a curfew to leave the pity party.

Take a good hard look in the mirror and own up to your own mistakes. Understand that as difficult as it is to admit, you both made mistakes.

You need to move away from the victim role if you are to get to the next stage in your life in a healthy way. It’s easier said than done but you need to see yourself in a positive way.

Don’t spend the rest of your life being one of the walking wounded. The only real way that you will recover from the wounds you experienced is to forgive your ex and yourself for the mistakes you both made. Maybe the first step should be is admitting the mistake of marrying the wrong person in the first place.

Photo by jillallyn