Did you leave him or were you the one left behind?
Some of you may question, “What’s the difference? Either way, the marriage is over!” My answer to you is that it is very different. In fact, one of the most difficult parts of divorce is when a woman is still in love with her husband.
It doesn’t matter if he cheated or if he did you wrong in any other way. You still love him and being apart and heading toward divorce is causing you excruciating pain. The important thing to understand is that as long as you still feel that there is hope, you will continue to feel pain.
So what you need to think about is reality. Is there any hope that you will get back together? Honestly… any real hope? Many of you have told me that you still hope that you will get back together. Obviously, anything is possible but the question should be, “Is it realistic to believe that you might get back together?”
When a person you love dies, the loss is excruciating and the pain is agonizing. The reality is that the people who are left behind understand that there is no hope that their loved one will return. Eventually, in time the pain begins to go away. Divorce is like a death and therefore people must go through the same grieving process that they do with a death. Then and then only will they be able to give up hope.
Let’s use as an example, your husband left you for another woman. You still love him. The question you must ask yourself is, “Do I love myself as much?” Too many times, a woman’s answer is “no” when her husband has left her.
Until you can love yourself as much and understand that the pain inflicted on you is wrong, you may continue to hope. That means that you will continue to feel the pain.
Photo: ElvertBarnes
