When you are ready or not ready, to enter the divorce process, you probably will have to pay your attorney, a retainer. If you need to change attorneys midstream, you probably will have to pay another retainer. How much is a retainer and where does the money come from? The answer varies with the attorney. My first attorney told me that my husband would have to pay all attorney’s fees and that I shouldn’t worry. I didn’t worry and that was the first of many mistakes, that I made. I believed what he advised me.
After all, he was my attorney and therefore on my side, right? Not necessarily! Very late in the process, I faced the fact that my being so naive had worked to my detriment. I had borrowed an enormous amount of money for his fees and couldn’t get a return phone call from him. Now, I was facing the final divorce hearing in less than a month and my attorney wasn’t talking to me or preparing me, in any way. I felt forlorn. I sadly came to the conclusion that he had abandoned me. I knew that I couldn’t go into court with him or without him. He had supposedly been preparing for my divorce argument for over two years. Now I was alone and afraid.
As I tearfully told a good friend about my predicament, she recommended a divorce attorney that she knew. She said that she had worked with him and that she had a lot of respect for his abilities and his ethics. She pulled some strings and managed to get me an interview with him, that very day. This man had an easygoing and confident manner. He was very different from my first attorney. He didn’t try to sell himself. After I explained my dilemma and gave him several documents to peruse, he informed me that he would take the challenge.
Since he only had a couple of weeks to prepare for a very complicated divorce case, it was obvious that he was taking on, a huge task. I began to see light at the end of the tunnel and I actually offered him a grateful, although faint, smile Maybe everything would be OK, after all. We then, discussed his retainer and he verbalized the dollar amount. I felt sick! I will never forget the moment that, the figure registered in my mind. I realized that, for him to be able to do the impossible for me, I had to do the impossible, to pay him.
I could feel the tears, welling up in my eyes. I thought, What is the use? I was up the creak without the proverbial paddle. I didn’t have the money. It was a hopeless situation. I told him that I’d get back to him the next day regarding whether or not I could come up with the retainer money. I got into my car and wept. I was at my wit’s end. I had endured the pain of a myriad of situations over the past few years. I wasn’t sure that I could do any more. I was so tired and my courage was waning. Please God, help me, I prayed.
I don’t remember much of the drive home but I do remember a call that I received, when I got home. The call was from a friend, who lived a few states away. She was calling to find out, if my attorney, the first one, had called me back. I told her no and then described the interview. When I got to the part, about the retainer, my voice broke. She said that she had some money and offered to lend it to me.
I knew that she was, far from wealthy and that I couldn’t accept her offer. She and I talked a while and then at some point, we had an agreement. I would borrow the money from her and pay her back with a higher interest rate, than she currently had on the money. I hung up the phone and put my face in my hands.
I couldn’t believe it. My dear friend came through for me. All I could think was, Thank you God for bringing this friend into my life. I will always be grateful. She sent a check by overnight mail to my new attorney. The next day, I went to his office to begin our preparation. As I entered, I saw a framed picture on the wall. The words said, Divorce your spouse with dignity. I knew that I was in the right office. Thank you God I said again.
