Many of you have written to me recently, questioning the divorce process when you have a child with special needs and in particular Autism or Aspergers.
The divorce process often begins when children are young because of the stressful and time consuming demands that are placed on the mother. Too often, she has nothing left to “give” her spouse by the time that the children are finally in bed for the night.
Studies show that the risk of divorce lessons when the children reach middle and high school. Why? Because the mothers are not as exhausted by the time that evening arrives. They have more emotional and physical energy left and are more able to direct it toward their spouses.
So, now let’s add a child with special needs to the scenario. These kids need more attention, even as they hit the teen years. If a child has an autistic disorder, studies show that the risk for divorce goes up to 80%.
There have been studies done with parents who have children with autism and parents with children who were developing normally. The families were matched in every other way.
The results have indicated that the divorce rate among couples with an autistic child, are almost twice as high as the control groups.
They also found that the younger the mother was as the time of the birth of her autistic child, the more likely she was to divorce which was not the case with the control groups.
I hope this helps. Whatever the reason that divorce is arriving on your doorstep, please prepare yourselves.
Photo by Ames2880
