My post on August 31, 2010, A Quick Fix or Quicksand triggered several new readers to email me. I found it very interesting that while their stories were different in details, they were very similar.
The gist of the stories was that the husband had left the marital home and filed for divorce. The children reacted badly to their father because, in their eyes, he had abandoned their family. Their father was the bad guy in their minds.
In the wife’s eyes, he was the bad guy because he had drained the bank accounts, charged up all of their credit cards to the limit and therefore cut off her ability to pay bills. She saw the merciless actions of the man she had married years earlier.
Suddenly, the husband called the wife and said that he was sorry and wanted to come back home and get their lives back on track.
A part of her wanted to say yes because she still loved him. A part of her was suspicious because she was acutely aware of the deceitful things he had already done. She was worried that he only wanted to come back home so that he could get the valuables still in the house. Wondering how she should handle the situation, she told him she would think about it but that she didn’t think it was possible.
Why he had presented her with such a change of attitude, she couldn’t figure out. She got her answer like a bolt of lightning when her kids came through the front door after seeing their father.
Her children had become a chorus of accusers. They were filled with statements and questions like the following:
- Dad is sorry and he wants to come back home.
- He says he doesn’t want a divorce but you do.
- Why won’t you forgive him?
- Why are you doing this to us?
- How can you do this to our family and to Dad?
The electricity from the lightning made the light bulb light up. He didn’t want to be the bad guy. He was a mission to get the kids on his side any way possible. Therefore, he created the new scenario so that the mother became the bad guy.
Photo Kirpernicus
