Most of us want people to think we are great, attractive, intelligent, fun, capable and successful. The “Oops Factor” comes into play when we focus so much on presenting ourselves as women who possess these characteristics that we lose perspective on who we really are.
Add internet dating and the “Oops Factor” can increase to the point of placing you and your children at risk.
If you have done any of these things over the internet, The “Oops Factor” has kicked in.
1. Your online profile isn’t exactly true. Maybe your picture is five or ten years old. Maybe you aren’t quite as tall or as thin as you profess to be. Maybe you have disclaimed your romantic history and break ups. Maybe you professed to have the same interests as that special someone when that is far from the truth. Is the person you really are and the one you profess to be one and the same?
2. Are you honest about your appearance and talents? Where do you rank yourself with other women your age? Are you average or above average? Here’s the scary part: Statistics show that more than 50% of women believe they are above average in all areas. Because of this, their expectations for the man who is right for them can be a bit delusional. Your relatives and friends can often aggravate this issue. Well meaning comments like, “You can do better or He’s not good enough for you” can cause the “Oops Factor” to escalate. If you dare to request honest feedback from someone you respect, it could put things in perspective.
3. Are you lonely? Are you content to be with yourself or are you constantly trying to fill that relationship void? You had a significant other before and now that he is gone, are you willing to make a poor choice just so that you aren’t alone? This is a big contributor to the “Oops Factor” because women who are starved for affection will seize it anyway they can and from anyone they can.
4. My mother used to use the word “propinquity” when I brought home a new boyfriend. At the time I didn’t get her point but I sure do now. In essence she was saying that the people who you are in proximity with are the “pickings.” They are the fish swimming in our pond, so to speak. In my case, when I worked in a department store during college breaks, my boyfriend was the shoe salesman in that store. When I was an exchange student in Costa Rica, my boyfriend was Costa Rican boy. (There are many more examples but in effort to save time, I’ll stop there.) The “Oops Factor” plays out because when we are swimming in a small pond, we can easily become attracted to a fish that wouldn’t spark our interests if we were swimming in a bigger pond with more fish.
So if you don’t want to increase your chances of making poor choices, think about the “Oops Factor” when you think about internet dating or any dating for that matter. If you are in a dating relationship and are concerned about the the person you are dating, there are places online like Direct Screening [affiliate] that can help you.
Photo: Alaskan Dude
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