A parent who attempts to alienate children from the other parent, uses many strategies. The patterns can include emotional and physical abuse. The alienating parent can be very obvious in his or her actions if the strategy is physical or verbal abuse depending on the age of the children.
There are many more subtle ways that the alienating parent can succeed in alienating the children from the other parent. These parents often use rejecting, ignoring, isolating or pressuring the children to distance the other parent from them.
Since attempts to separate or distance a child from the other parent must be viewed as emotional abuse, any child who has been the instrument of an alienating parent has suffered a form of emotional abuse.
So why does this occur to so many children who are the victims of divorcing parents? In my opinion, the reasons tiptoed into the family relationships before the divorce process began.
The histories of hundreds and hundreds of the women who have shared their stories indicate that the alienating parent has been cold, physically abusive, emotionally abusive, rejecting or absent from their children’s lives during the marriage. With the foundation laid, divorce amplifies the actions of the alienating parent.
- The tragedy is that the alienating parent uses techniques that are not unlike the techniques used by cult leaders. They manipulate their children emotionally by setting the stage to convince the children that they must follow their wishes or…
They will not be loved by that parent.
They will be abandoned by that parent.
- The alienating parent convinces the children that they are dependent on him or her. Often finances play a big role in this scenario.
- The alienating parent handcuffs the children to himself or herself with loyalty issues, promises and innuendos.
- These parents often use brainwashing techniques such as repetition of negative statements about the other parent.
The good news is that there are ways that the alienated parent can understand and help the brutality of this situation.
To be continued.
Photo by Velentin.Ottone
