Did you know that the parent who contributes most to a child’s emotional health is the same sex parent? The relationship between a father and son and a mother and daughter can make or break that child’s emotional health in the future. Children need to see the same sex parent as the model that they can use to sculpt themselves into the adults they aspire to be.
When children are young, they see both parents with equal importance but with different roles. Mom might be the one in whom they can confide. Dad might be the one who helps with homework.
When puberty arrives on the scene, everything changes. It becomes crucial that children are confident that the same sex parent is attentive to their identities and their needs.
Children can become attracted to the parent they need most. This is not because of the level of love felt by the children. The children can feel like the same sex parent has more in common, more of an ability to understand, more to offer in some ways. They can also be drawn to the parent they are afraid of losing most, especially in the case of divorce.
Divorce and parental alienation exacerbates the problem when the alliance with the same sex parent becomes the basis for the family’s relationships. The parent who becomes the excluded parent experiences high levels of pain because he or she is not validated, included or valued.
Photo: michale
