Hope

ONE OF THE FIRST EMAILS

I am writing you at 2 am because I can’t sleep and don’t have anyone else to talk to or confide in. I am so depressed and while I love my kids so much, I am about ready to throw in the towel. I don’t think I could end my life but I think that would death would be easier than my life is now. My husband has played around for years and I knew about the affairs. I didn’t say anything because I was afraid of losing him. I have been a stay at home mom for thirteen years and after I quit my job, he took over the finances.

I spent all of my hours taking care of my husband and children. I tried to do anything and everything to get my husband to love me and care about me so that he wouldn’t look at or to other women. Finally, about a month ago, I couldn’t take it any more so I confronted him about his affairs. He turned it all around and began accusing me of having affairs. (I never cheated on him!)

He created a story that he told people and even our kids that I was cheating and how much it hurt him. He said he had been deceived. He filed for divorce and is trying to get custody of the kids. He has paid the bills since then but he emptied my wallet of credit cards and took all of the checks. I have no access to money and don’t know what to do. My youngest is only two and I don’t have any family or friends that can help take care of her so that I could work. I guess I need to give in and let him have the kids and the house and everything else he wants. I just can’t go on. I just can’t take the emotional pain that I have. I don’t know where to turn or what to do. Please help me. Please help me. Help me.

MOST RECENT EMAIL:

Claudia,

Hi, just wanted to thank you. I know now that you were right about life getting better after divorce. It’s hard to believe that the divorce was final 3 months ago and I feel great. He didn’t end up breaking my spirit thanks to you and your words of encouragement.

As you suggested, I stopped feeling sorry for myself. It was hard but you were so convinced that having positive thoughts about me and my future I tried to keep that mind set. Each day got a little better from the one before. Now, I have custody and he has visitation and our state is a fault state so I ended up OK. One of his ex-lady friends actually testified about his actions and character in court.

I won! I am going back to get my degree so that I can teach school and be close to my kids and be off when they are off.

Claudia, I will always be grateful to you. Your belief in my strength helped me to be strong when I felt so week. God bless you.

Charise M