Parents know that children should not be involved in their parents’ issues or arguments but do they care really?
When divorce comes into play, spouses seem to be so caught up with their own anger, sorrow, fear and pain that they are focused on their own pity parties on not on the welfare of their children. In addition, there are parents who intentionally use their children to hurt the other parent and the result is disastrous for the children.
What happens during the divorce process can and does devastate children in the best of cases. In the worst of cases, the result is nothing other than emotional child abuse that will remain with the children for their lifetimes.
Studies are showing more and more that divorce is one of the primary causes of depression, substance abuse, behavioral problems, poor grades and criminal activity in the children involved.
Because of the increased rate of divorce in the world, there are more and more studies proving that children are in constant turmoil and are too often highly depressed. The children of divorced parents have been found to be sadder, suffer from lower self esteem and have more physical infirmities than the children from intact families.
The saddest part, in my opinion is that many children of divorced parents take personal responsibility for the events that occur between their parents even though the responsibility is never theirs.
What can parents do? One of the most important things that can help the children is to allow them to see that their parents can argue and disagree but also see that there can be positive ways to resolve the issues.
The divorce process shatters so many lives and all parents make mistakes but the reality is that the children must not be used as pawns by their parents if they are to lead healthy and happy lives.
Please parents, take heed.
Photo by Southworth Sailor
