The Poor Stepmother

I was asked to write a post dealing with women who are placed in a situation that requires them to care for their husbands’ children from a previous marriage.

This situation ranges from full custody to varying degrees of visitation and custody.

This is the reality: All kids can be extremely difficult during various stages of their lives. It is a chore for the parents who are blood related. Many women secretly tell me that they don’t like their children. They love them but they don’t like them.

So why should this be different for a step mom? The reason is that “blood is thicker than water” and step children don’t have that “blood bond.” That means that a step mother has a more difficult task than the mother because love doesn’t necessarily play a role.

Some of the comments that step mothers have share with me are:

• I am not comfortable in my own house.
• I feel used.
• My husband thinks I should be happy that my life is geared to the needs of HIS kids.
• Why should I be responsible for someone else ‘s kids?
• My income is being used to buy his kids’ clothes.
• His kids don’t like me and I don’t like them.
• My husband is demanding that I love his kids or he will leave.

It’s not a question of step mothers not liking their step children. It’s more that they often resent them. They resent their husbands for forcing them upon them.

We have all heard the Cinderella stories about the poor step child but do we ever hear about the poor stepmother?

Please share your thoughts.

Photo by Tony Crider