I receive many emails from women who are thinking about the possibility of getting divorced. As you regulars know, I don’t advocate divorce with the exception of abuse. This post is directed to my readers who are at the contemplating stage of divorce.
When marriages begin to fail, each of the spouses needs to begin efforts to repair what is wrong if the relationship is to survive.
Every marriage evolves. In the beginning, you just “fell in love.” It was so very easy. Then after a few years and a few children, everything changes. That fiery love feeling changes into something better or something worse. Hmmm….thus the wording in the wedding vows!
The qualities of the better stage
- Comfort in the loving relationship
- Confidence in the strength of the marriage
- Understanding and accepting the spouse
- Ability to ask for and give support
- Intimacy in the bedroom and outside of the bedroom
The qualities of the worse stage
- You see your relationship as dull.
- You are angry with your spouse.
- You wonder if your spouse is the right one for you.
- Your spouse’s little habits are no longer cute. They drive you nuts!
- You blame your spouse for your unhappiness.
If you are headed toward the worse stage and question your relationship, it’s time to get out the marriage duct tape! Marriages tend to break down when one or both spouses center attention on missing that new love ecstasy. That new love feeling was just so easy, you didn’t need to do any work. It just happened and it felt great.
A marriage can implode if a spouse seeks to regain that amazing new love feeling with someone else.
If any of this sounds familiar, get out the marriage duct tape because the solution lies within your marriage, not outside of it. Communication should be the first piece of duct tape that you apply to your marriage.
Photo: andy mangold
