Verbal Abuse Is Passed on to The Children

Many times women  are so close to situations that they are incapable of having or maintaining perspective. In fact, they are incapable of being objective regarding their own lives.

Often, women miss what is actually happening around them because they are so “used to it.”

As an example, think of a mother whose husband speaks rudely to her and demeans her. It becomes a way of life. And when her children begin to get older, she doesn’t understand why they demean her and are rude to her. She is hurt because she is confident that she has been a good mother. She never took the easy way out in raising them. She always put their needs before her own.

It hurts even more because she watches her friends and how their children treat them. The children of her friends are respectful and appreciative of all of their mothers’ efforts. They call and visit often. The show love to their mothers in ways that prove that they care.

This poor mom gets more and more insecure because she thinks that she might not have been as good a mother as she had tried to be. After all, if she were, her children  wouldn’t treat her the way they do.

WRONG!!!

There are a few reasons why she is being disrespected and demeaned and for the most part, the reasons all point back to her. It is not that she isn’t a good mother. In fact, she might be the best mother in the world except for one thing.

She put up no boundaries.  When her husband demeaned her and was rude to her, she allowed it. When her children began to act the same way, she allowed it. She just didn’t want to argue or fight so she took the path of least resistance, and that path lead her in the wrong direction. When she went down that path, she told everyone that it was okay to treat her with disrespect.

So if any of you are in a similar situation, your first step is to gain perspective. There is a way that you can begin to do that. When a “scene” begins, imagine that you are in the audience watching you and your family acting out.

What do you see? What would you like to tell the woman on stage?

What do you need to tell you?

Photo: starmanseries