Bird's Nest
There is a new term that is being used during the divorce process. The term is “nesting” or “bird nesting.”
This label is given to parents who are willing to allow their children to remain in the family home while the divorcing parents take turns living in the family home and in another location.
While the idea of “nesting” sounds great I’m not sure that it is very realistic in most cases. I don’t believe that in very many divorces both parents are willing to put their children’s needs before their own.
Ideally it would be great for the children to be less traumatized. In addition, both parents would experience first-hand what it would be like to live out of a suitcase and be bounced back and forth between mom’s and dad’s houses.
Since many divorced couples refuse to communicate with the other or show respect for the other, it is the rare divorced couple that could make the nesting process work for even a short period of time.
In addition too many couples take the divorce process as a time to sabotage the other parent. Again this is proof that with many divorcing couples the nesting process is just not feasible.
I have heard of a very few “nesters” who have made a success of the process. I can’t help but wonder why they divorced in the first place if they can get along well enough to “nest.”
Throw in the fact that nesting is very expensive since it requires three homes instead of two which is normally the case when divorce occurs, how realistic is it especially in this economy?
It seems most realistic that the divorcing couple, in the best case could make this work during a very short period of time.
A divorcing couple should attempt to communicate with and show respect for the ex-spouse for the well-being of the children. This only happens when the divorcing parents are not selfish or immature. The few cases of nesting that are actually working are often with two ex-spouses who get along better than many people who are married.
The norm seems to be more of a situation where one or both parents show the children by their actions and words that they are incapable of tolerating let alone communicating with their ex-spouse.
When dating comes into play, it gets even more difficult. I find it hard to believe that many men or women would be willing to get into a relationship with the person who is involved so closely with his or her ex-spouse.
I did hear of a couple who has been nesting for over four years and plans on continuing for another eight years until all of their children are off to college.
God bless this couple for their unselfish and loving attitude towards their children.
Photo by William Dalton
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